A Reflection on Life Transitions and THE Spiritual Question!
For some reason I have been thinking a lot about transitions these past few weeks. It is February, and with football done (Eagles win!) and baseball a way away (pray for the Phillies) we are in that sort of weird period of winter in the northeast. To immerse oneself in current events is to court depression and frustration, even though I have found it a challenge to break the news habit. I have, as have so many, pulled back from the constant barrage. It takes a lot out of you! The other major trigger, besides having a big number birthday in December, is the upcoming, and much anticipated, Bar Mitzvah of my grandson. His will be the last of the grandchildren to fulfill this Mitzvah. I find myself contemplating this reality. I have lived to see and participate actively in all of these. For some reason, this last one has sparked a real sense of transition. Yes, I know that we have Confirmation ceremonies (my granddaughter in June), high school graduations, weddings etc; but the gnawing truth is the agonizing question of just how many of these I will live to see!
We spend a lot of time teaching aspects of transition in life as we grow older. It is, as we all know, a lot easier to teach it than to live it. There are no guidelines for this age of transition. You can read all the books on aging and still, it is always very personal. We speak with friends and spend way too much time discussing the medical updates, for everyone, it seems, has something. The articles now are quick to remind us that the oldest of Boomers are turning 80. Where did THAT come from? We sort of understand that we have really three “ages” at any time. We have our chronological age which we can measure from the year when we were born. That is the number we put down on all those medical forms or Portals that seem so popular now. Then we have a biological age, the age that seems to mirror how our bodies feel. This varies, often, from day to day. Some days we feel maybe like we are 50, and some other days are bodies remind us that “we are not as young as we were”. Then there is what may really matter, our spiritual age! This is the age we feel in our souls, our hearts. It is often very different than the other two and I think says a lot about how we think of life and our self. This is age that tells us that we are never too old to learn, to grow, to love and find new ideas, relationships and adventures.
But this age of transition cannot be denied, for slowly (we hope) we all march to the reality of our own mortality. This is an age when so many of us begin to reassess our goals and priorities. For many of us, there is an act of what we call in the tradition, “tzimtzum”. This is a sort of ingathering. It is not a shirling of care for others or the state of the world, but it is a reality that our priorities in life may shift from saving the world, to caring for and relating to the people who are most important in our lives. The force that drives this transition is, of course, the one thing that none of us can control: TIME! Our tradition reminds us to celebrate time. We have the “sh’hech’yanu” blessing that speaks to that as well as a calendar of holidays and celebrations tied to moments in time. Indeed, as we teach in so many of our sessions, THE spiritual question for us now is “what do we do with the time we have left, knowing that we cannot control the time we have left!” Life is a series of transitions; we change and adapt throughout our life. As we grow older, and the transitions become more complex, time becomes more meaningful. Thus, that question. Take some time to think of that question, and to think about how your transitions answer that question.
Shalom,
Rabbi Richard F Address
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