What Allows You To Flourish?

What allows you to thrive as we grow older

In the past few weeks, I have been involved with some very interesting conversations with a variety of people around the issue of what allows them to flourish as they age. This began with a conference sponsored by the Jewish Studies Department of Arizona State University. It dealt with the issue of Judaism, and the Science of Flourishing. A wide variety of scholars discussed and debated this issue. It led to suggesting this issue for discussion in several classes and study groups that we have been involved with.

Some of these academics reported on surveys that indicated that elements in our society were not flourishing. There were concerns about teens and one report about middle aged people, especially men, who were having trouble dealing with post Covid, post 2008 issues as well feeling increased pressures from family concerns. There were even reports on a decline in life spans depending on which state one lived in. All together, some sobering statistics.

To flourish is to thrive. Does this become more challenging as we age? There are so many challenges that we face, from changes in our bodies to changes in relationships; from adapting to losses and the rapidity of time passing. Add to this the anxiety so many feel given the state of the world in general and the Jewish world in particular, and you can see the challenge in trying to ascertain what allows us to flourish and thrive,.

Curiously, in these sessions, there was an eagerness to have this issue discussed. So often we are focusing on what is wrong or concerning, that when we are invited to talk about what gives us joy or allows us to thrive, we are surprised. As you know, Judaism has a major focus on life and these discussions validated the reality that people want to share their joys and passions. They are great lessons in that they teach and remind us that life IS to be lived and that there are always things to learn, to do, to share and to enjoy.

So many of the people in these classes spoke of the enjoyment and spiritual joy in giving back to someone, or some group. Others spoke of their passion for learning and the emotional high that discovering new ideas provided. Just about everyone spoke of the power of and the acute need for being with others; the need to be in relationship with others and that need to be needed and the need to need. This stress on relationships provided recognition, validation and connection in life, despite any physical or emotional challenges. There were several ideas that led to great conversation. One was the fact, as a few mentioned, of working with young people on projects. The inter-generational idea is often overlooked in many congregations. Too often we silo groups, yet, a few who have had this experience were so positive in working with teens or young adults in ways that allowed for mutual learning and growth. Then there was a discussion that emerged just recently during one of our monthly Both Sides Now webinars for older adults. It was pointed out that one of the participants was going to celebrate his second Bar Mitzvah as he turned 83 ( three score years plus thirteen). The reaction was wonderful as people saw this as another way to combine so many of the positive aspects of life that allow us to flourish and thrive.

One of challenges remain to seek out and engage in those activities that allow us to grow and thrive and flourish as human beings. Judaism teaches us that as long as we live we seek meaning and our place in this world.

Shalom,

Rabbi Richard F. Address